Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
this beer tastes like vomit already
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Randomize
