do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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