just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
