So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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