yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
