I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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