I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize