at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize