Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Randomize
