nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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