Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
