I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I spent the entire party sexting people's significant others for them because they were too drunk to do it themselves. I did quite well too. I should start a business
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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