We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
Randomize
