I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Randomize
