Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
