He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize