He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
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