he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
only you would photoshop your dick
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
