I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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