farters have to be the big spoon...
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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