Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
