I'm gonna have a badass scar
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Randomize
