the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
