Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
