i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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