Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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