I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
