You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
Randomize
