i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Randomize
