I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
