I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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