My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Randomize