yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
