i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
