you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
