Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
We're having soft pretzels and cheese dip for dinner tonight. Like fucking adults.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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