Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
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