I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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