I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
My vagina just recognized that song.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize