My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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