I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
Randomize
