The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
I woke up wearing just my underwear and a headlamp at a different house than I remember passing out at. I told you irish car bombs are not made with an entire guinness.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize