Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
Randomize
