she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
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