guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Randomize
