i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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