it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
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