I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize
