...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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