Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
