Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I faked an abortion last night.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
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