I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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