so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
