so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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