ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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