Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
An d I'd rather cry while putting a waffle in my mouth than cry on my pillow, ya feel me?
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
