OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
