i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize
