Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
She bit a glass in half.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
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