Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
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